Freedom
by Luchia-chan
Summary: Izumi's life before he became a teacher in Gakuen Alice and met Yuka Azumi and Kazumi Yukihira.
1. Chapter 1

**Author**: Luchia, Coco, I have a lot of names in the internet

**Disclaimer**: Characters are not mine, but this story is!

**Genres**: Angst, Fluff, **a lot** of Fluff and Hurt & Comfort  
><strong>Rating: T,<strong> because Izumi swears (!) A lot. He's got a dirty mouth there. And adult situations (smoking, drinking alcohol, violence)

**Prompt**: Izumi's life before he became a teacher in Gakuen Alice.

**Authors Note**: It is indeed a fact that foreigners are not popular in Japan! I tried to portray Izumi as good as I could. I tried to imagine how I was as a teenager and from what others told me. It's up to us to change, but we can do so much better if there's someone who helps- Now up to the fanfiction :-)

Freedom

If there was one word to describe Yukihira Izumi then it was rebellious. His whole life, he did what he wanted to, what he thought he **had** to do, even if it meant making the lives of his parents considerable more difficult. When he turned 17 he joined a motorbike (motorcycle) gang, drove around, smoked, beat the hell out of some guys. Izumi probably made his own life more difficult than the one of his parents. They always treated him like a piece of shit, made him feel more at home with his gang than with them. Only interested in their own image. People told him he looked like his father. Some even said he had resemblance with his brother. But he didn't even have a brother. Izumi never had one and he has never seen photos of a brother in his parent's house. Why would they hide a son or did they abandon him, like they wanted to abandon **him**? If he really had a brother, what was he doing at this moment?

These thoughts only made him angrier. Either his parents or neighbours were wrong. Inventing a brother for him? Or hiding a son, because he may have been a failure? Izumi took out a cigarette, lightened it and began to smoke. This whole world was so fucked up. He hated everyone. Everyone was so wrong about everything. His anger built up inside, nowhere to be released. Except maybe on some cocky guys who dared to cross the line with him or were in his territory. Izumi had to fight with someone, **anyone**. It would've been quite stupid if he'd direct a punch at the wall like when he was a child. Only because some of the adults treated him like one didn't mean he was one. The people on the street were always looking at him with a face that said 'disgusting'. He would have thrown a punch at them if there weren't some children with them. As much as he hated the adults, the children couldn't do anything about them. It's not like he could chose his parents either. His blond hair made him exotic and it irritated the others. They all thought he was some punk who dyed his hair blond, but no Japanese had blue eyes. Izumi had always been different than the others. The looks and the personality. It was not like he even wanted to be like the rest of the world. If he did, then he would be dirty even pathetic. The whole world was nothing but pitiful. Instead of being themselves, they fit in the society, adjusted to the situation, too afraid people could judge them, hate them. But Izumi just didn't care anymore. If the others thought he had to fit in, he'd show them that he was a free soul. Someone without restrictions, without limits, someone with a free will who sets up his own rules.

At home, Izumi was never quite welcome. His father was always so angry. He seemed hysterical, he always yelled at him and sometimes at his mother. This old man was a failure, a loser who couldn't control himself.

One day Izumi was going crazy because of school, so he threw plates around the house in an act of rage. He had hurt his hands, his feet by just wandering on the shards. Strangely enough he didn't feel any pain. His feet were numb, so were his hands after a while. When his father came home, he had felt a lot of pain, more than from the shards. It was so very painful because at this point he could not fight back, could only look at the old man with hate evident in his eyes.

Perhaps he could find a family or love. A love who won't judge him only because of his appearance. This was his only dream to find people who loved him the way he was and who he could love. Inside him he had so much love to give but these feelings were only for someone special. He would never give his heart to some girl who he didn't love or who didn't love him.

No matter what he was determined to find this special person.

**Chapter 1**

"Hey man, where were you the whole time? We were waiting for you!" They were his so-called "friends". They would never be friends. Just a few problematic teenagers, hanging out, beating up some people who were cocky and maybe steal some money to have a smoke. His old man never cared anyway and his mother was often too busy with other things. Who cared about them? He surely didn't nor was anyone else. At least some people will remember him even if it is only for the trouble he caused. They all will be remembered. But who except him would know his parents after they died? They were nice people, but that was not good enough for society. They always wanted more and more and still more.

"Hey, guys what are we gonna do tonight?"

"Playing some games in an arcade or stealing some snacks from a store? I bet the shop owner will get wet from fear!" The teenager laughed loudly at something that would seem cruel to others. Not them. Not **him**.

"Sounds nice." Another night someone would remember his face, his voice. Even in his nightmares. Izumi had the upper hand in this game over the adults. They'd show them what was really useless. Not them. They were the only garbage in Japan. Thinking they were all that, thinking they could get away from justice. This gang was justice. They weren't doing anything bad, they just fought for equality.

"Hey, you stupid brats, you can't just take the good without paying f-" One of his gang kicked the counter hard.

"Shut up, old hag! Who cares what you're saying? You wanna get some good beating?" The elder woman retreated scared but still angry. If this continued, she won't be able to leave this store unharmed. Not like it was his hobby to hurt women or children but if she was going to get in their way, he knew his gang members would not leave it unpunished.

"You still have complaints, hag? You're so quiet now!" His gang members went out of the store, packing various alcohol bottles, cola and snacks on their way while laughing. The woman muttered something like "damn delinquents" but let them be.

There was a parking lot nearby they stopped to mix their drinks with cola.

"Did you see her face? Too bad it was only an old hag. Would have been interesting with a young girl." Izumi didn't care about their conversation. Even if it was a young girl, they wouldn't have done anything to her. It was not their style. Maybe a bit of teasing with words but these guys were too uncertain to try to molest her. The gang members were jealous because the women kept coming to Izumi if there were any bold enough to come to him.

"Tsk. The girls only like Izumi because he looks like a foreigner!"

"Idiot. Which girl likes foreigners? They're not popular. Japanese men are!" So, the conversation led to this? Whatever. Izumi looked up to the clear sky. The moon was very big and bright tonight. This is why he loved to go out by night. The fresh air. The dark only illuminated by the moon. Izumi was not exactly a romantic kind of guy (but he had his moments). It was only his way of escaping the reality.

"Earth to Izumi~" Izumi looked to his gang members.

"It's boring and we should get going. Drank too much. You're going home too? Or do you want to stay out?"

"Going to sleep", he said lazily. Going to sleep meant not at home. The worthless home where he had no place. Here in Japan were enough subways where he could sleep on a bench.

This city was boring. Now if he were to go to a big city like Tokyo… No one would deplore his strange blond hair or his blue eyes there. All people from Tokyo were fancy, blond hair were nothing. Tokyo was special, not only the people, but also the buildings.

The so-called "Alice Academy" was quite a cool school, he heard. A school for talented, intelligent children. He had seen a picture of this school once. The school was just like a little city. If only he had a talent or a bit of intelligence then he could also be… a man who could be proud of what he achieved. Izumi could change things like this. Not only scaring a few insignificant people but really change everything.

That would be nice…

TBC


	2. Chapter 2  Letter

Chapter 2 - Letter

A/N: Just reread some chapters. Yukihira found out Izumi's Alice when he just got out of school, means he was around 19 years old! I made it like he just had a part-time job.

Izumi woke up, freezing. Maybe sleeping at the subway was not a good idea after all. Shaking with cold, he got up, meeting a pair of eyes from some adults. The young man glared at them, making them look away again.

Stupid people. Staring, but as soon as the other notices it, they get scared and turn away. His back and his arms hurt like crazy. The old man was gone for work by now and his mother too. Just get home, pick up some things and then go to the story for his part-time job or hang out with friends. Izumi just wanted to see how the day went by before he decided.

As he reached his home by foot, he grabbed some Ramen and put in some hot water. No way, he was going to cook something complicated. He hurriedly gulped down the glass of water before his sight caught a letter on the table. Just wow, his parents didn't open the post for once but just left them here. And it was addressed to him? Izumi never received letters. Curiosity got the better of him, as he read the sender being the large school for the talented and intelligent. "Alice Academy"…

"What the hell…? I'm neither talented nor intelligent." A post bomb, maybe? Someone out to take revenge and kill him?

He opened the envelope slowly and took out the letter. It seemed quite long.

"Dear Izumi Yukihira

You may wonder why you're receiving a letter from the Alice Academy. As you may know or not, the Alice Academy is a school for talented children. But it's only on the outside. In truth, the children here have a talent named "Alice". It can vary from person to person. Some may have the ability to read others thoughts. Others can make it rain or can fly."

Izumi had never heard of something like this in his life before. So, the Alice Academy was a bit shady, huh? But still, he didn't have such a talent!

"You're probably wondering, why it is you, who received such a letter"

Damn right.

"I'm the High School Principal of this school. I have the ability to see Alices. I've accidentally seen your photography when there was a festival at your school when you graduated and there was an article in the newspaper. I've recognized you as an Alice. Your Alice has the ability to protect yourself from other Alices. You're immune against them. I'm sorry I didn't write to you before-"

Why did this guy apologize? There was no reason, except for if he was a really courteous person and this was rarely the case.

"-and you're already out of school, so there's really no use for you to come to the Alice Academy, but I still wanted to ask you for a favour."

Who the hell was this guy? He didn't know him and he wanted to ask him for a favour? This was strange. These Alice people were strange!

"If you'd like to, could you start working here as a teacher? I know it's selfish and your parents have probably never told you… But before you, they had another son. My name's Kazumi Yukihira. I'm your brother, but I've been taken to this school when I was ten years old. I didn't even know I had a brother before I've seen this picture. I only found out because we have the same last name and even look alike. I never had the chance to have a real family and I'd really like to know you. Please, before you turn down my offer, let us talk first. Even if you don't want to be a teacher, I'd like to know what kind of brother I have. And please, don't let your parents see this letter. I don't want them to see after everything. It has been a long time and if they never told you about me, then it's for the better they don't hear from me.

Kazumi Yukihira"

…This must be a joke. A stupid joke, maybe from his parents or from someone else. So he really **did** have a brother? And he even had a talent named "Alice" and went to this school? His own Alice didn't seem like anything special, no wonder he didn't know he had one.

But his brother said… he looked like him and was a Principal. Everything was so damn ironic. Izumi has lived to make the Principal's life hell when he was still in school. And now his brother was one too. No matter what, Kazumi surely never wanted a delinquent as a brother let alone a teacher. It hurt a bit, but it was useless.

Suddenly his motivation to go to work again faded very quickly. Whatever, not like he was going to be a teacher. With his grades it was a miracle he even graduated from High School.

Izumi still should write something back. Maybe tell him about the situation. He owed it to him. "I don't want them to see after everything"…? So his brother didn't have a good relationship with their parents too? The young man was so curious about his brother's life. What happened at home? Did the Academy people drag him away by force or did he go voluntarily because of their parents?

Ok… It's decided, he'll write back! It's not like he was interested in finding his long lost brother. Seemed like they were in a Japanese drama story. It was more like a favour, writing back and explaining things. Izumi briefly wondered if his brother was as excited as him, but quickly put it aside. No reason getting worked up for this. Just skip part-time work and write this letter.

Just because his brother wanted him as a teacher didn't mean he needed to go to work. He didn't need to do another favour…

Before he knew what was going on, he was on his way to work with the letter in his bag. The blond-haired still had enough time to write the reply during lunch break. All people were looking it at him flabbergasted and were whispering all the time. Oh my god, the delinquent going to work! Surprise, surprise! Sarcasm never suited him well. When he got inside the changing room with the rest of the employees, no one dared to take his place from him. The seat in the back row on the left side. Stupid boss. When he read out the attendance list and came to his name, he just had to say this cheeky sentence: "Ah, here again? We thought, you had dropped out." Some girls giggled, before he kicked the leg of his the table hard, making a horrible noise. The employees immediately calmed down. Izumi could never be a teacher, just not possible.

Work has been only about putting the goods in order in the store, handling the goods from the suppliers and printing out some documents. Logistician was a boring job. Finally lunch time. During work, he was not quite clear in his head and gave up listening to the employees. Some were eating their lunch in the changing room, but he went to the parking lot on the concrete floor and pulled out the letter and a blank piece of paper and started writing.

"Dear Kazu-nii

What you said sounds quite… impossible? My parents never told me I had a brother but some neighbours told me I look like my brother. But believe me, I won't ever hand over the letter to them. I'm not in a good relationship with my parents. In fact we hate each other.

What you said: I'd like to know more about you. A lot more. Please tell me, what happened between our parents and you. How old you are. How the Alice Academy is. And I think I have to get back to your offer: I'm sorry, but you definitely don't want me as a teacher. I barely managed to graduate from High School. I'm in a motorbike gang and our lives are only about making the lives of others miserable. I smoke and drink and am not a good role model for some children. I want to know you too, but I don't think, being a teacher is possible or is good for you.

I'm sorry for the trouble.

Izumi Yukihira"

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Compared to the letter of his brother, his own was so cold! Izumi tried to put some additional things to express his feelings properly.

"Nii-chan, if I can get away from here, am I to live with you there? I can give up my life here and live with you?"

That sounded better. He really called Kazumi "Kazu-nii"—It was so strange, but seemed right at this point!

Ok, only in an envelope and send it. His heart was beating hard with excitement at the reply he would receive. What if his brother judged him because of his lifestyle right now?

"Hey, man! Gonna hang out with us tonight again?" said one of his gang members. He came from his "work" to visit him. Like he'd care. Work for him was selling some drugs to people who didn't know better.

"Sorry, I've got something to do. Maybe tomorrow." His gang member made a funny noise, before looking at Izumi's hands. The blond-haired just looked him in the eyes, daring him to take something, precisely his letter, from him.

"Ah, something to do? Finally got yourself a girlfriend rather than some one-night-stand slut?"

"Shut it. Got nothing to do with you guys. Whoever I'm writing to, it's my business." The gang member snored. "You're so boring now. You ought to get your behind kicked." he said before really leaving this time.

Boring, huh? Is that a good thing or not? See that, big brother? He's improving and some day he can catch up to him. His brother was a role model right now even though he didn't know him. In the letter, there was so much sadness but also filled with an air of an adult. Someone who has experienced a lot in his life.

While working he was still not quite there, but more concentrated that even this stupid boss couldn't say anything anymore. Today he'll send the letter, wondering all the time when he'd receive his reply.

In the evening he could hear his parents come home. Izumi hid the letter inside one of his old school books in the shelter. They won't ever have the idea to look inside of the books. His mother was cooking something, he could smell it, but the teenager never ate the food she cooked, Even if she would give it to him everyday for school or would beg him, this fact was never going to change. They were living in two different worlds. They may speak the same language but no one could understand the other.

"Nii-chan, quickly get me out of this house!" Izumi murmured to himself.


	3. Chapter 3 Rules

**Chapter 3 – Rules**

A/N: I wanted to explain the differences of all "big brother"'s words in japanese. Aoi Kitsukawa made an important point: I wrote "Nii-chan" in the last chapter, but **nii-chan** still means "Older brother" just not as respectful as "nii-san"." **Aniki**" also means older brother but is more respectful than nii-chan but not as respectful as "**nii-san**" and is usually not used when introducing someone your brother. I made it so, that Izumi calls him nii-chan first, because he still doesn't know him and doesn't have respect. Aniki is also used for mentors/leaders. We know from the manga that he **does** see the HSP as a role model, but you'll see in the next few chapters!

By the way: I didn't write the letter in Italic because, in case you're confused, in all books I've read, the letters are NEVER in Italic. I'm trying to be as original as possible even if it's confusing and it's only a fanfic.

I hope the little Japanese lesson helped someone out^^ 

* * *

><p>When Izumi woke up, the birds were already chirping loudly. The blond-haired groaned while rolling around the bed.<p>

Mornings were so bad. So many noises… Izumi struggled to get up but when he went down, there wasn't anyone in the house. His parents were already gone. His body was so much more relaxed when they were not here.

"Thank god…" He stretched himself while groaning. Morning shifts were really the worst, but at least tonight he'd have more time with his gang. For them he was a leader, a cool, rebellious leader who feared no one and nothing. It made him proud for the first time ever. Izumi's gang may not be the strongest, but they gained a lot of respect. For him, fear and respect were the same. If he were to die in this gang wars, then he would be respected, **remembered** for the guy who fought against the system. It doesn't even matter if he'd die or not.

Work was completely boring, he didn't know why he went. His gang met under a bridge, joking, drinking all their troubles away. But for Izumi, his hope for a future was crippling. And Izumi didn't dare to hope anymore, his heart breaking as he realized that he was losing himself and he was losing fast. Just how did he fall so deep? There was a saying, that if you look too long into the Abyss, then the Abyss looks into you. It may have started with a little trouble, but soon enough, he didn't find a way out of the darkness he put himself inside. Some gang members had absolutely normal families and some people who lived in a violent environment didn't turn out to be violent themselves. So why was it him? Why didn't he just pull away from his gang members? Because he was a leader and felt the duty to teach them what **he** learnt? Izumi himself pushed innocent young men into a fate with no future and found that he didn't really care. They were some faceless people for him. In the end it was up to them what they wanted to do after all. It didn't concern him. But maybe it was just some excuse.

"Look at this damn brat there! Is he from the school we went?", said some gang member.

"No, are you already drunk? His school uniform is different. See, where he's walking? That's our territory! I think it's time to teach him a lesson…", said another guy.

"What are you doing? Just let him be. He's just a child. Let's just d-" Izumi tried to start. He was tired of it.

"What is wrong with you? Before, you were cool. We drink together, we fight together, we die together, that was your statement, so come and join us!" Damn, his own statement!

"Hey, you! You know where you're walking?" The teenager looked intimidated and shook his head, earning laughter.

"This here" and he made a gesture with his hand. "is our turf, so get the hell out of here or you receive some beating. Oh, wait, I think you get some beating anyway." The teenager's eyed widened, trying to run away, but someone had grabbed him and threw him on the ground.

"You're dead"

Suddenly Izumi didn't know what was going on anymore. Everything happened so fast and when he saw the face of the crying boy, something inside of him went cold and his heart jumped. Was this what pity, sorry felt like? The boy called for help, before the gang members shut him up with a punch.

"Hey, Izumi, come on do something!" Izumi was frozen in place. No, this was not right. Who were they to beat a teenager, younger than them, up? His hand trembled in fear and worry.

"Just stop it! Let him go! I won't do anything, so let the boy be for once!" The blond-haired just couldn't watch it anymore. Eyes looked up to him, so grateful to be saved. Izumi didn't deserve it.

"I told you guys, he's so boring right now. Doesn't matter, we had our fun. Go cry to your mother, you little baby!" They shoved him away. The boy was struggling to stay on his feet and with one last grateful look, the battered boy ran away. It was the calm before the storm, as someone grabbed Izumi by the collar.

"What the hell is going on with you? I don't care at all if you have a girlfriend but don't get in the way of the gang. You may be our leader, but destroying the gang by being totally passive is not accepted! Leader or no leader, you'll be gone for good if you keep messing up something like this. Then maybe I should take your position."

The blond-haired didn't care about the "position". If he wanted to leave this gang, then it would be painful, so he just shrugged his shoulders coolly.

"If you want to beat up little children, go to the kindergarten, you losers! Is it something to be proud of to beat people younger than you? That was just pathetic!" Izumi knew they would be embarrassed about it. It was a rule to never hurt children or women, they all knew that. Some of them **did** look embarrassed, however around 2 were getting angry. This was not a good sign.

"You really think you're that good of a guy? The hero to help the poor? You see, we're fed up with you and think you deserve a punishment! It's just the way our gang works, isn't it? If you're doing anything to ruin our gang's reputation, you pay for it!", said the black-haired gang member as if it was not **him** who ruined the reputation by beating up younger people.

Izumi would have minded this stupid talk on any other day, but he couldn't bring himself to get angry at them. If they really wanted to attack him, they would've done so without a warning. His eyes were fixed on the ground, not looking up, even as someone grabbed his arms from behind, not letting him move anymore. Ah, so this was what they call Karma…? For everyone he hurt, the gang members hurt him. Soon they would get their share too. Bad guys would always get what they deserved.

But even so, the first punch hurt much more than all the others. When the black-haired gang member pulled back his fist, blood was connected to it from Izumi's now broken nose. The hands and fists just kept hitting but Izumi barely realized what was happening to him. It was all like a dream. A horrible, horrible dream he'd wake up from. His mind shut from all the pain but when the gang member behind him let go off his arms, he fell to the ground, mind working again, realizing what happened.

"You're not one of us anymore. Stay away from **our** territory from now on. Or we'll do worse to you, got it?", one of them yelled angrily. They didn't laugh anymore, looked serious and grumpy instead and left him on the ground.

His own gang members had betrayed him and for what? Just because he had avoided hitting other people recently? Not even other people, but children. When did everything go wrong? It was clear that they don't hit children or women, so why was it wrong to stop them to hit the little boy? These guys… They better run away or he'd get revenge on them. If this was supposed to be a lesson, then they're wrong, thinking he'd change his mind about beating up the younger.

"Ah… I messed up…" Izumi tried to get up but hissed in pain. An elder woman who was walking with her dog had heard the noise and gasped shocked at the sight presented to her.

"My boy, can I help you? Should I get an ambulance?" The older woman said worried. The blond-haired sent her a glare and was breathing heavily.

"No, I'm fine, please go away. I'm just going to go home." At least he still had the strength to get her to go. With more worried looks, she continued her walk with the dog.

"I don't need sympathy, stupid woman…" Even when saying the harsh sentence, Izumi's voice trembled with emotions. This stupid woman wanted to help him, didn't see him as a delinquent but as a **human**. His heart was aching with bad conscience. Whatever, he didn't know her, for all he knew she could have been a criminal and just tried to put an act in front of him. In all honesty though, he just thought that to have a clean conscience again.

His home was finally in sight. The blood needed to be washed off of him. And the bruises and cuts burned. A cold shower would be so good right now.

Izumi opened the door and saw his mother sleeping on the couch. She came back from work already, but Izumi was just grateful he could sneak in without trouble today. Packing up some fresh pieces of clothes along the way, he went to the bathroom. His bloody clothes had to be disposed. He slid into the bathroom naked, leaning against the wall before sinking to his knees. As Izumi tried desperately to choke back his sobs by controlling his breathing, he stared at the shower wall on the opposite and tried to stop thinking entirely. Still, his heart knew that now, he had nothing important to him anymore. Trembling from cold, he sat there for about one hour, letting the cold water rain down on him. This was not right, this was not how it was supposed to be…


	4. Chapter 4 Doubt

**Chapter 4 - Doubt**

A/N: I know what Izumi's mother is saying is confusing, but I think she IS confused. She has always loved both of her sons, but at the same time hate the Alice they're having. It's surely a complicated feeling she had. She doesn't know herself what she's saying anymore. 

* * *

><p>Chirping birds woke Izumi up. He didn't even know how he got to his bed, but it felt so soft on his bruised skin. Almost felt like he was flying on feathers. Immediately he widened his eyes. Of course, the blanket and pillow were filled with feathers and he shouldn't just sleep here but treat his wounds properly. Before anyone found out what happened, he took a pile of spare clothes with him and locked himself in the bathroom again.<p>

His face was not damaged except for a cut on his cheek and it was barely noticeable. Like this, maybe no one would notice if he'd wear baggy clothes. Grateful for once that the guys avoided hitting his face, he got to change himself. His parents shouldn't be at home right now. Today he didn't have to go to work, so he just went down to make himself something to eat, but even sitting hurt his whole body. Izumi really should have laid down instead of moving even an inch.

In the refrigerator, he just put some cereals in a bowl and poured some milk in it. His head hurt a lot, maybe one of the guys hit him on the back of his head.

When he had finally eaten without throwing things up again, he wanted to take the post inside. Izumi almost forgot he sent a letter two days ago, so he didn't expect a letter with his name on it.

"Right… My big brother…", he thought lazily. His mind barely picked on but his hands automatically opened the letter.

"Dear Izumi

Oh well… Kazu-nii sounds so… unfamiliar… It takes me some time to get used to it."

This made Izumi smile and it felt like it was some time ago he had laughed.

"I'm sorry to hear that you don't have a good relationship with your parents. Thank you very much for your reply anyway, I appreciate it.

What happened between me and my parents was nothing; and maybe that was the problem. And didn't you ever hear that it's rude to ask people about their age? I can't tell you. I want to see you first before I tell you especially if it's something personal.

You wrote in your last letter that I wouldn't want you as a teacher in this Academy. What gives you this idea? Because you're in a motorbike gang? Because you smoke?

Don't think being a teacher is impossible. I'm willing to help you. If you just give up smoking, drinking and your gang then you can do it. It's up to you to decide your future, no one else's. I'm giving you a chance here to get a job, be independent. Just leave your old life behind and start a new one.

We could be a family and you would live healthier. Please, think about it again. Wouldn't it be better for you to be with me and have a steady job than be with your gang members or parents who hate you, as you say? If you decide to become a teacher you would live in the Alice Academy, live with me as you asked, yes and if you're strong and willing then your grades don't matter. Just give it your best and you'll be able to get the teacher's licence.

Kazumi Yukihira"

Izumi laughed a bit at the age thing. So his brother was sensitive about this? This was strange, since he thought only women were so sensitive. Still, he felt a sharp sting in his heart. It was the first time someone said he could decide **his** future. The more letters they shared, the more sympathy Izumi felt towards his brother, who almost seemed like a guardian or father. A role model, to be exact. What he wanted to be, **ought** to be when he was an adult. The young man sighed loudly. Whatever he felt inside, he had disappointed his brother with his last letter. Such a horrible feeling, to be disappointed by someone you had put trust into. Izumi felt really bad, especially as he realized how many people **he** had disappointed too. His life was shattered in thousand pieces. What was left was him broken and he didn't know anymore who he was. Being Izumi Yukihira meant something to him and to the people outside. And now? He was a good-for-nothing, exactly what his father was. Get the teacher's licence and he would be someone again, someone his brother could be proud of. Determination shot through him, giving him more strength. Now he only had to get out of this village. Screw his gang members and parents and job.

His heart thumped excited. Going to live with his brother and work as a teacher? Izumi could teach High school girls… He was sure it was them he could teach since his older brother was the High school principal. This was great. Kazu-nii was probably happy being the principal of high school girls too! At least if he was anywhere near his own character. A smile crept unto his face, his mood lightening up. So even someone like him could get a second chance. This was his chance to change his circumstances. He had always promised himself that tomorrow will be different, yet in the end tomorrow is way too often a repetition of today. What's the point of always living the same routine without changing anything?

In order to get the teacher's licence, he had to learn for the master's first. This was going to be hard. If Izumi had trouble with High school, then get the master's would be almost impossible. Where could he even get help from someone? Learning by himself was out of question considering his stupidity. Chewing on his lower lip, he jumped up to take a pen in his hand to write his brother back.

"Dear Kazu-nii

Don't worry, the more I call you "big brother" the more you'll get used to it!

Why won't you tell me your age? Are you **that** old? Everything that's personal should stay with us. I won't ever tell anyone else.

Thank you for worrying even though we don't know each other. That means a lot to me, maybe more than you'll ever know. I can try to be a teacher, but I'm pretty dumb, so I'd have to get some help to obtain the master's. But I'm trying, big brother, I'm trying my best. I'm sorry I made you angry but I was just scared I would disappoint you, when I don't turn out what you wanted me to be.

I can handle children pretty well since I like to play around. That's about the only thing I can bring from my experiences.

Hopefully we can meet soon, Kazu-nii

Izumi Yukihira"

All right, this will have to do. Send it tonight and then off to study for the Alice Academy. As strange as it may sound, but Izumi believed him. He believed some stranger who suddenly sent him a letter saying he was his brother and offered him a real job. It was a bit scary, because at any moment, he could just send another letter saying it was all just a joke or that he was too stupid to apply for a job in the Alice Academy. A shudder ran through Izumi as he imagined this situation…

"_Yahoo__! Deceived you! Sorry, Otouto, I never believed you would buy this lie!"_

No, no, no, no. Izumi was so stupid; his older brother would never deceive him in such a childish matter. In all the letters, he sounded very serious and mature. It would be strange to suddenly see him jumping around, pointing at him and laughing. Just how did his brother look and what characteristics did he have?

Izumi was jumping from one foot to the other, nervously thinking about the possibilities. He was believing some stranger! This won't do, there had to be a prove, for example a picture or a copy of his passport, anything for Izumi to believe this man. His heart thumped heavily. He just had to have a reassurance. In order for Kazu-nii to trust him and send him a photo or anything, he had to prove his trust too. But how? His brother knew already what he looked like and read about him, so how could he make him understand?

"I know you said you want to wait until we see each other before you can tell me anything about yourself, something personal. But there's still doubt if you're serious about this. I don't know you. You could be anyone out to joke with me. Please, if you have anything to prove you're not just someone but really my brother, then send it to me. A picture, a copy of passport, anything. I know it's hard to just send something like this to me as you don't know me either, but you still know more about me than I know about you. Other than your name, there's nothing and it's unfair. I also want to know how exactly my brother looks like, what his likes and dislikes are. Isn't it only fair for you to tell me these things before I try to get the master's?"

Izumi added this passage to his letter, worried. Kazu-nii may withdraw completely after it. His brother did a lot for him by offering this job, but still; knowing nothing about him, and considering there's a possibility of someone trying to personate a brother is just too dangerous after all. The blond-haired loved danger but not to a price where he'd destroy his whole life.

This was so complicated for him! Izumi stretched himself before putting the letter in an envelope. But if Kazu-nii decided to put a photo inside… then he would know his appearance. Somehow though, Izumi had a feeling that, if his older brother said they "looked similar" , he also had blond hair and blue eyes. From his letters alone, Izumi had a feeling of him being pretty handsome.

If he offered his little brother to live with and work for him, then does that mean he wasn't married and had no children? The letters seemed a bit lonely and serious, but he was surely a handsome intelligent man, so why wasn't he married yet? Puzzled, Izumi thought about the possibilities, but there were a lot of men who just couldn't settle down, so his brother may be such a type of man.

He sealed the letter and went out to send it to the post. People kept staring at him, whispering, but he didn't care. His bruises and cuts weren't visible, so he got away with only the usual talk. From across the street he could see his gang members. No, they weren't his gang members anymore. They had abandoned him just like his parents. Just yesterday he was their leader, the one they looked up to and then? This situation was so similar to the one with his parents, it was ridiculous! Before they could take a look at Izumi, he turned around and went inside the post. It would be hard to avoid them from now on. Suddenly he was in the role of the victim and they would hunt him.

Quickly he got out after sending the letter and headed straight home. The day started very well with his brother's letter but ended in a frustrating way. Why the hell did he have to hide from them? It was not right. It was also not right to have to hide all the letters from his parents.

Arriving home, he went to his room and prepared to listen to music from his radio. Listening to music calmed him down and made him forget. Sadly, his mind decided to **not** forget but to remember his parents.

"_Mom, Dad… I've heard some people talking, but I don't really understand. What is an Alice?"_

_His dream… was shattered with a simple question._

"_Who do you think you are? An Alice is useless, is nothing! They are nothing but an excuse of the country to take our children away and bring them against us! It doesn't exist!" His mother was suddenly hysterical and his father was looking at the little child with cold eyes. Eyes which shouldn't ever be directed at their own child._

"_You don't have such a thing because it doesn't exist! No child of mine has something like this! People who think they have an Alice are nothing but freaks, monsters!" His mother continued to shout, almost desperately wanting her child to think there was no such thing. Almost as if she wanted herself to believe it. His father put a hand to his wife's shoulder, trying to calm her down._

"_You! Never mention this word again boy! Or I will end you!", said his father with a cold voice. The play ended…_

"_Don't ever look at me again, you monster! If you think you have such a thing, then you're not my son!" So hysterical, always shouting since then. They were always so nice people, so what went wrong? Why were they panicking about a word?_

"_My son, my son! He's away!" His mother sobbed in her hands, crying out for her son, a son who was right in front of her but at the same time was not._

"_What are you saying? You want to give him to a foster family?", shouted the father._

"_I regret it! I regret having this child now. I thought he was normal, that I don't have to send him away to the country, but… See what I mean? This boy has the exact same look in his eyes as Kazu-chan. They are the same, I can feel it. They are both freaks and I have to give him away too! Izumi-chan will leave us too, but not before I can send him away. This time they won't get him from me."_

"_You're talking nonsense! If you're sending him away, they'll take him from the foster family. If he really has an Alice, they won't ever retrieve. They'll just keep coming for him." The mother was crying again and trembling at her loss of one son. What did they do to him? Why didn't he ever contact her after 14 years? Was he even alive or did these Alice guys brainwash him to hate or forget his own mother? Alices were creepy. They thought they were better than normal humans and can do everything to them. Her child was away from her. Kazu-chan was probably happily living somewhere else, not needing her. Her heart broke whenever she thought of how her oldest child probably didn't even remember her. What if he was already married? By now he was 24 years old. She counted every day, how long she was separated from Kazu-chan, in hope to meet him once again._

"_I just want Kazu-chan again… I want to speak or at least write with him. Why won't he answer our letters? He's our son, it's our right to contact him." The mother cried big teardrops while her husband stroked her back. Whether it was Kazumi himself who rejected any contact with them or the Alice Academy who refused to let letters through, he didn't know. Maybe the School itself was holding back all letters to their son. But he was not a little child anymore, he was 24 years old, an adult who could fight back. The only reason could be that he himself thought they had abandoned him, if the School is really holding back the letters. There was no way to contact him otherwise. The husband tried many times to explain this to his wife, to make her understand, that there was a possibility that Kazu-chan thought __**they**__ had abandoned him because he never received their letters, but his wife didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to believe it. In her eyes, Izumi was the only son right now. Soon, she'd want to forget him too for having an Alice. This young mother was preparing to let him go, preparing for an Alice Academy member to come through this door at any moment. She was being paranoid, she knew it, but the fear was always there. Humans always feared that something horrible in the past may happen again to them. And to lose a child was the worst nightmare she has ever experienced._

"_I can't bear to look at his eyes anymore… I just can't… Maybe it's just better to forget him."_

Izumi didn't know what happened with his mother, but from this time on everything changed and she got very angry at him. There was just no way that she could ever love him, was what Izumi kept thinking. Even if it should have left him empty, cold – he shouldn't even care – it hurt when she ignored or glared at him. Feelings sucked! You can't even make them stop, they'll come at you at the worst times possible and make you vulnerable!

The Alice Academy; he would give everything to get into this school as a teacher by now. Briefly he still wondered, if his parents would miss him or remember him. Not as the delinquent, but as their son, who they used to love with all their heart…


	5. Chapter 5 - Study

**Chapter 5 - Study**

The next day, his body still ached. Too bad he had to work again, but he was determined to start studying today. At work, none of his former gang members were present. It was so hard to think of them as something already passed. Still this life ended here. It was for his own good to stop it now. Nevertheless he felt so lonely right now. Always, always, he had someone by his side. Be it his classmates, his gang members or whoever and now it was gone. Whatever his brother wrote now or whatever pictures he would send; he couldn't go back to his gang members again even if it turned out to be a joke. Perhaps leaving or standing up against the gang was the first right decision he ever made.

Izumi knew his parents could never forget what he did, but hoped there was a little bit love inside of them to forgive him.

The work exhausted him a lot – all the bruises his former gang members inflicted on him distracted him and slowed him down. His boss yelled at him for working so slowly. He almost couldn't wait for the day to be over.

"Damn this workplace! Damn it!", murmured Izumi angrily. Right before he wanted to go home, his boss scolded him for not putting the goods in the correct order.

"Yukihira-kun, did you say something?!", screamed his boss over his shoulder.

"I didn't say anything", he screamed back. This man had ears like a bats! "Is it all right to go home now?"

"Get the hell out already! Don't want to see your face anymore. At least for today."

His boss was a real sweetheart. And had a worse vocabulary than him, if that was even possible.

Strangely enough, the light was on when he came near his house. So, one of his parents or both were already home... This will be fun... He turned the doorknob and closed the door behind his back again.

"Mom? Dad? You're there...?"

"Izumi, I'm in the kitchen. Want something?"

All right, something was off. His mother never asked him if he wanted anything. What was going on? Or was it a sarcastic "want something"? When he arrived at the kitchen, his mother was cooking spaghetti with tomato sauce. It smelled delicious and Izumi almost forgot the taste of self-cooked meals.

"Uhm... Can... Can I eat with you too...?"

Someone had to make the first step. They both made mistakes. His mother was angry at these Alice Academy people who took away her son and he was angry at the whole damn world. He was in the process of changing himself. Making peace with his parents was one wish of him too. Izumi didn't want to leave his home angrily. Or hated. Even though it was probably cruel to make peace with them and leaving them after that. He still loved them and he wanted them to know that.

His mother's eyes widened. She was not used to him talking this nicely with her. Her smile was vulnerable and it seemed like her lips were trembling. But he didn't know if it was out of joy or anger.

"Of course, you can."

Her voice was so gentle and warm. If Izumi didn't nod and head for his room, he might have cried right then and there. His heart hurt and felt warm at the same time.

"Do you have any idea what you're making me feel, mom?", he whispered in his room. He wondered if it was possible for him to ever hate his parents. No matter what they did, he felt affection for them and longer for their love.

"Izumi, the food is ready!", yelled his mother from downstairs. Izumi walked down the steps to dining room, wanting to sit down. Suddenly he realized that the table was still not set up.

"Mom, should I help setting up the table? Dad is still not here, right?" Apparently, today was a day full of surprises for his mother. She almost dropped the tomato sauce on the floor.

"I-If it isn't too much trouble, I would appreciate your help..." Izumi smiled and helped her. Right after they were done, his father arrived as if on cue. What a perfect timing.

"Darling, I'm so hungry, is the food-" He froze at the door frame.

"Uhm, what, you're e-eating with us t-today?" His father stammered through the sentence.

"Izumi **will** eat with us today! Isn't that great?"

Still shocked, his father couldn't do more than give a nod and stiffly go to sit down on his chair. Izumi hoped he would finally close his mouth. One surely couldn't be surprised **this** long?

"Itadakimasu", said his mother loudly and started to eat. The two men followed her example and praised her food. It was a bit awkward, all three didn't know what to say or what to talk about. But it was family and it was still comfortable somehow.

"Mom? Should I help you wash the dishes?"

"No, it's fine, I'll do that. Thanks anyway." Izumi nodded and went back to his room and laid himself down his bed. His reference books for the teacher license were under his bed. Now was the time to study, even if he was so bored only reading the instruction that he wanted to fall asleep.

No, he had to stay awake. He would **not** disappoint his brother. When he read the first few pages, he was sure about one thing: They never had studied this in **his** school. The Alice Academy had more difficult questions in their exams. After all, it was to be expected; this school was famous and brought out only intelligent students. So the teachers must be a bunch of nerds.

If there was one thing Izumi wasn't, then it was a nerd. Reading out loud, listening to his own voice and writing down all the answers to the questions, making little summaries. He knew this was the best way to get the information in his head, even if it was for a short while. Izumi wondered when the date for the exams were. He made a little note in his head to ask that his brother next time in his letter. Up until now, his brother never waited to write him back, so his answer should come tomorrow.

* * *

><p>"Urgh, damn it, let me sleep!", Izumi mumbled in his cushion. The birds were chirping and disturbing his sleep.<p>

"Damn birds, why can't you be quiet? Every morning is the same with you."

His brain started to work already... He wanted to do something, but what was it? Not work, he was free today. Breakfast? What did he do every morning?

"Oh my god! Kazu-nii's letter!" Izumi ran down the steps, his heart beating speeding up. Oh please, don't let my parents read the letter. They would be angry and annoyed. He promised his brother not to let his parents read his letters.

There was no one downstairs. And the letter was unopened. For once, he was lucky.

Eagerly tearing up the whole envelope, he began to read:

"Dear Izumi

I guess I'm getting used to it, yes.

I'm not as old as you think I am. Thank you for your discreet, I appreciate it.

"When you don't turn out as I want you to be"? This is not whether I imagined you to be different or not. The fact is that I have a brother I want to meet. You didn't make me angry, though I can't say I wasn't surprised.

You don't have to worry about experiences. I'm ready to teach you everything you need to know about this school.

And I know it is hard to trust me as you don't know how I look like or who I am, but as a prove of my good intention, I'll send you a copy of my passport. Just like I told you in my last letter, we look similar, but our age is pretty far apart. Please destroy this copy as soon as you look at it. I'll trust you in this.

Give it your best at the master's. I'm sure you'll do well. If not, prepare for revenge!"

… Izumi didn't know if the last sentence was meant to encourage him or depress him. Whatever, first take a look at the copy of his passport.

When Izumi had a look at it, he froze literally. It was no lie that they resembled each other. His eyes were not as wide as his, and he overall had a mature face but otherwise – they had the same hairstyle and blond hair, the facial contour was similar, it was scary. Such a photo couldn't lie, they were truly brothers!

Now he had to destroy the photo… It really was too bad, but couldn't be helped. Izumi raised his hand with a lighter and burned the copy of the passport above the sink, before washing the ash away.

At the table, he raised his pen to write his answer.

"Dear Kazu-nii

Could you please tell me date and place of the exams? I started to study already and I want to know how much time I still have.

You're right about that. We really look similar. I knew you were a handsome bastard! I just knew it.

I wanted to tell you that I gave up my gang. They punished me by beating me up, but I want to change myself from now on. I'm happy and relieved that I left my past behind.

I'm looking forward to see you. I will try my best."

That was all he could write. Izumi stared at it for a moment, and put down his pen. It felt heavy in his hand.

Quickly, he went out to put the letter in the mail only to return home. Days passed with the same pattern. He studied for the teacher's license and worked part-time.

One time, his older brother wrote back to apologize. Kazu-nii felt sorry that his former gang-members beat him up, as if it was his fault. He also told him, that his exams would be in 8 months. Izumi could do it if he worked hard enough. The younger brother wrote down that his elder brother was in no way responsible for what happened – in contrast – it helped him. Izumi even decreased his amount of cigarettes.

Days turned into months and Izumi began to feel happy for the first time. Even his relationship with his parents was great right now. His father slowly approached him and greeted him everytime. His mother cooked for him and brought him tea whenever she wasn't working.

Up until now, Izumi didn't know how fortunate it was just having your family around.

Five months went by and then his happiness came crashing down. His father arrived sobbing and screaming how unfair it all was. Izumi could hear how glass shattered at the floor.

"D-Dad? What happened?", asked Izumi.

"Izumi..." His eyes were wet and red from his tears still running down his face. Did his father ever cry until now? Izumi could not remember. Something horrible must have happened.

"It's your mother. She had an accident. This stupid blind bus driver! He didn't take the curve correctly and hit your mother's car! She's in the hospital right now, in a coma. I wanted to take my things to go sleep there right now. Please stay here. I will call you. You can visit her when she's awake and when it's visiting hours."

Izumi's thoughts were blank. Accident. Mother. Hospital. Coma.

He could only nod at his father. How stupid he must've looked. His father didn't seem to notice it, he just hugged him tightly and whispered that everything was going to be all right. With that he grabbed his clothes and drove off to the hospital, leaving Izumi behind.

* * *

><p>I found my interest in Gakuen Alice again. Wish you all a happy new year, in case someone is still reading this fanfiction after, don't know, how many years.<p> 


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